Monday, August 15, 2011

Fostering Love...not Hate

Open your home, Open your Heart!
I know that most of my blog posts are about crafts, recipes or just basic kid wrangling techniques, but I really feel the need to get something huge off of my chest. Welcome one and all to my venting therapy session. My family and I recently welcomed two very special foster children into our home. They're adventure with us was brief and beautiful. If I said that it was super easy, I'd be lying. If I said that I have no regrets, I'd also be lying. If I said that I learned so much about life, friends, family and the system, that would be the understatement of the century. I guess I'm quiet naive because I truly thought that I wouldn't feel any prejudice when we decided to become foster parents. We were warned, but I scoffed at the thought thinking that I was somehow immune to the racism that foster parents before me endured.
  Don't get me wrong. I expected the obvious questions like "Those can't be all yours?!" Which I answered as politely as possible when all I really wanted to say was "Actually, Yes!" and watch why they mathematically try to figure it all out. I also expected the looks...not to say that I don't get those anyways. For those of you who know our family, my children are mini clones of my husband with little assistance from my gene pool...most people think I'm the nanny. Needless to say, the looks never bothered me and I hardly noticed them.
  So you're asking, "what bothered you then?"  The thing that bothered me most about this whole experience is how people classify the children. I swear when I hear people refer to them as "those" children, I want to gouge out their eyes! REALLY!!! What do you mean "those" children? I truly wished they meant "those poor traumatized children," or "those horribly terrified children." Sadly no. I hate to say it, but these comments were geared towards labeling my foster children as "unworthy." When is a child ever not worthy of love, attention, safety and nurturing? They did absolutely nothing to get placed into the system. It was people responsible for their health, safety and well being that have caused them to live the nightmare of being ripped from loved ones arms and forced to stay in a complete strangers home. Please don't get me wrong, the loved one most likely was causing harm one way or another to the child and therefore, this necessitates the children be moved to a healthy environment. All children, not just privileged children, deserve and need a safe place to make sure all of their physical and emotional needs are met. This statement seems so obvious to me and yet here I am listening to self righteous, selfish people insinuate that I'm wasting my time loving them.
  Understanding the true tragedy of children being mistreated has opened my heart, mind and home to "those" children. We are so truly blessed to have them with us, even if for a short time. They have taught us how to appreciate all of the little things like food on the table, laughter, hugs, friendship,family and most importantly, the capability of the heart to love endlessly.


  1. I love you Nes, and I respect you. ALL of your children are lucky to have you. xoxoxoxoxo

  2. Thanks E~ That means so much to me! I hope that they enjoy their stay no matter how brief. I feel like the lucky one :) Miss you so much!!!